Question: How many psychiatrists does it take to change alightbulb?Answer: Just one ... but the lightbulb has to REALLY want to change----------------------------------------------A scientist had been keeping a secret for over two decades --he had sucessfully cloned a human being.He kept meticulous records, raising the clone-child in hislaboratory until it was an adult. Then he made his plans tounveil his creation at a meeting of top scientists, held in theluxurious facilities of a high-rise hotel.When the time for his presentation came, the scientist steppedto the podium. He presented his data -- his pictures, hischarts, his graphs -- to an amazed audience. But suddenly,instead of waiting for his cue to come forward, the clone stoodup where he'd been sitting, and started shouting at thescientists assembled there.This clone was an imaginative clone. He used language thatwould make a sailor blush, accusing his creator and all of hiscolleagues of the most amazing feats of perversion and vice.Trying to regain control, the scientist ushered the clone outof the room and up to the roof of the hotel, where he hoped theclone's shouts would go unheard.The clone would not listen to reason. He attacked thescientist's parentage, his sister, his mother....Finally, the scientist snapped. He could bear it no longer. Herushed forward and with a mighty shove, pushed his creation offthe roof of the hotel.The police arrived promptly and arrested the scientist formaking an obscene clone fall.------------------------------------Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company.Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realized theseat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He wascloser to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an emptyseat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. Hedecided to take a chance and made his way through the stadiumand around the security guards to the empty seat.As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him,"Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man said "No."Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob saidto the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their rightmind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not useit?!"The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I wassupposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is thefirst Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we gotmarried in 1967.""That's really sad," said Bob, "but still, couldn't you findsomeone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?""No," the man replied, "they're all at the funeral!"
Peter Wright ● 7292d